What's on Your Mind?

As I was reading in Life of Christ by Martyn Lloyd-Jones, he made a point about John saying in 1 John that to say anything else besides Jesus Christ was the God-Man who died on the cross and rose from the grave is a lie. John was able to say this because he was there. He saw Jesus on the cross, he saw Thomas reach his fingers into his wounds in the upper room.

This idea really set me off in a good way. The New Testament was written by men who had been there and seen it all. A fact that we obviously all know but doesn't always register. When John wrote his letters to the church in 1,2, and3 John he was so passionate because of the reality that Christ was to him. That is why his words echo with such boldness in 1 John 2:22

"Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son."

I was there! screams John. I heard him scream "It is Finished!" I watched the skies grow dark and felt the earthquake afterwards. I saw him on the mountaintop conversing with Moses and Elijah. I remember the tension in the air when he called out "Lazarus come forth, and the seconds that seemed like eternity before he did. I remember running all the way to the tomb, looking in, and seeing those folded linens." These memories could be some of the things flashing through his head as he writes. But it doesn't stop with him.

When Paul wrote "I am the chief of all sinners", what images flooded his mind? The men and women and families that he tore apart and carried away to be killed? Stephen gazing into heaven as he stood idly by?

What about Peter as he wrote

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope the the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."

or

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.

Could it have been the tender conversation he had with Jesus after denying three times? Could it have been the love and forgiveness in the voice of Christ as he said "Feed My Sheep" Did he remember when the women breathlessly burst into the room and said "He is gone", and then running out the door to see for himself?

More importantly for me I think is this question. What is on my mind as I stand to preach Christ to those before me. "Is my fly zipped? Does my voice sound funny? Will people laugh at that joke? Do they like me? I'm hungry? Another day, another dollar?

Or is the depths of my sin and the heights of his glorious love on my mind? How he pulled me from the miry pit and set my feet on a rock. As a christian and a pastor these things must move to speak. I admit to standing to speak motivated by other things like duty, worry, obligations, and paychecks. I deeply repent of that.

"We cannot stop speaking the things which we have seen and heard" Acts 4:20

I pray that God reminds me of all the things He has done in my life, and that I will be so moved I cannot help but speak of them to all around me.